Just a couple more months until my 26th birthday. I've been asking myself why this is such a significant birthday for me. I can come up with two explanations.
1. My mom was 26 when I was born. If you want to get technical, I'm now older than she was when I was conceived. I'm not the oldest. She was 21 when my sister was born. There are several women in my family having babies into their 40s, my mom included. I don't think I'll want to be having babies then, but I can't know that now. My sister had her first baby at 24 and her second at 30. I guess I always hoped I would have a baby by 25, especially since I married young. We're going on 5 baby-free years of marriage. It looks like it may be a bit longer. I want to be finished with grad school before we do the parenting thing. I think I'll be facing a fork in the road when I graduate with my master's. I will be 27. Four-five years of a Ph.D. would put me at 31-32 when I would finish. I now see nothing wrong with starting a family in my early thirties. Nick would be through his first (toughest) year of residency. The current rule is that I can't have children after 35. And since I'm completely opposed to having more than one baby in the house at a time, this limits the number of children we can have. Regardless, I'm in no hurry to enter the mommy club.
2. I have had this weird concern of being 27 since I can remember. It makes no sense, and I can't tell you where I came up with this idea, but at some point I thought that I might not live to see 28. In the same weird sense, I have always had a sinking feeling that I may not have children. Part of me (the impractical part) wants to have a baby before I turn 27 just so I can know that I'm wrong. It's childish silliness. I'm certain it's something I came up with in childhood, when 27 seemed so far away. I have contributions to make to this world, and there's no way I can make them in the next year or so. So time can't be up yet. Did you hear that, keeper of the hourglass? :)
I want you to understand something, you will never really be ready to have a baby. There will always be a rational excuse that now isn't the time. I'm not telling you these things to push you into motherhood. I guess I feel that if the only thing holding you back right now is your education, and you actually really want to start on your family sooner rather than later, maybe you should consider it. I know we come from different worlds on this subject but I also don't think you're silly for wanting a baby while you're younger and will likely be around for grandchildren and great grandchildren. Just a thought. :) I'll love Baby Litwin #1 whenever he makes his debut.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the perspective.
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing because you picked up on the fact that Baby Litwin #1 will be a boy. I'm only allowed to have boys, so I'm told. I put all the responsibility on him, since it's really more up to him than me. :D
I guess the top priority before having babies is having genetic carrier testing. It's a bit costly, but I'm on it. I'm thinking that whether I decide to pursue a Ph.D. or not, I may go ahead and start trying after my master's. I don't want to be in this program (meaning stuck in this location) for longer than I need to be. I don't think I could do the baby thing AND get out of here with my master's in two years. So I really don't want to try before I finish this program. But you're right. There probably isn't a "perfect" time.