I must confess

While I love the idea of having a garden, I abhor gardening.

I like to cook. I like to bake. I HATE cleaning the kitchen and doing dishes. Nick used to help with that. Now it's all on me, so the last thing I want to do is cook or bake. I subdue the urge or I just let my kitchen go messy.

I don't want to be a doctor's wife. I already don't like this. I get ignored for weeks at a time. I do all the housework (and things outside the house!) I'm reconsidering the whole parenting thing. Seriously. Yes, I hope to have children, but I don't intend to be a single parent.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a choice. I already made my choice. Or it was never my choice to make. But that's dumb. I'm not fatalistic. I ALWAYS have a choice. Not making a choice is a choice.

I really like just about all of my classmates. I look forward to going to class. Grad school rocks.

I now know why I got a degree in English - so I could go to graduate school. All we DO is write papers. I think I actually prefer APA to MLA. It's so much more user friendly. If only it would quit changing!

Staying physically fit is so much harder at 25 than 20. I don't know what happened in the past 5 years, but I hope it doesn't take me that long to get my body back. I DON'T intend to let it go any farther. It's not that I've put on much weight - maybe 5-10 lbs - it's that I've become a shape shifter. I'm jigglier. And like I said before, muffin tops are not cute.

Hanging out with lesbians makes me feel girlie. I'm not sure how this works. Maybe it's because I've never really run with a crowd of girls.

I feel kind of bad that Nick hasn't really developed any friendships with any guys here. We have a weird dynamic here in that most of the people he studies with are female, so their significant others are male, and I wouldn't hang out with men socially, outside of a group setting. Then there are the few girls he hangs out with who have girlfriends. So I hang out with them. Nick would probably be friends with the male partners of the girls in his groups, but he hardly sees anyone outside of school. I'm not sure why we haven't really paired up with any male med school students and their wives. Of the ones we've met, most have children. We aren't having kids now, so we don't have much in common. But whatever. I like our friends.